Senior Year : January

So we just filled out our registration forms for SPM earlier today in school, and it seems unreal.
Unreal that I've managed to study until this level (lol) and survived.
Unreal that next year, everything will begin again.

A couple of things happened in just three short weeks of school.
(omg drama)

I kinda dropped BK as a subject, and I feel that certain people hate me for it (lol)
However, I'll stand by my decision and go through with what I currently have on my plate right now.
This whole process of me dropping the subject like provoked a few questions in my brain :
(i) if i don't take a 'religious' subject, does that mean that God isn't going to be with me with my other subjects now?
(ii) is the purpose of wanting me to take BK so badly solely driven by the desire for me to really get to know God better, to push up the statistics of the number of people taking BK in M'sia or any other?
The answer to question (i) is obviously, no. God loves me no matter and will stand by me as long as I live. Nothing I do is going to make Him bless me more, nothing I do is going to make Him bless me less. Whether I do take BK or not, the number of As God has planned for me to get is already in His hands. so yeah.
The answer to question (ii), however, I'm willing to give myself the benefit of doubt to. Maybe I'm missing out a chance to get an extra A or A+ or whatever, but I know that my spiritual journey isn't merely subjected to the exam subject only. It may be my parents' reasoning in wanting me to drop BK to escape the inevitable B or C and a slim chance of an A, but it is my reasoning to drop BK as a sign of respecting my parents' reasonings. One of my morals is to always have your parents' blessings before doing anything. If they do not support you, who else is going to?

(my mum told me that the number of As doesn't matter, as long as it's my best awwwww ♥)

I can't believe I cried for that LOLOLOLOL
(Bae is amazing)

Another brudder has been a good bruh too. He reminded me not to be too stressed up. 'Aim for something, work for it'. That's sortaaa what he said hahahaa. Glad to have someone with the same ambition and there to remind me that I'm not alone in facing all these stress. (awwww)

ALSO I'M REALLY GLAD TO BE BACK IN A CLASS WHERE THE STUDENTS ARE QUIET AS SHIT EVENTHOUGH THERE'S NO TEACHER IN CLASS. FLEMINGOS FTW HAHAHAHA.

Prefectorial board has been improving loads tbh. I'm thinking KP was chosen correctly. I don't think I could've handled conflicts so well and be as direct to teacher as him. But sometimes he has this sickening 'bo chak' attitude towards protocols. I mean, it's always good to change but sometimes, the old methods are there for a reason. It's impossible to make everyone happy but there's no need to make everyone unhappy either. But hey, I can't really complain since I'm not doing it better than him right. THAT, apparently, is something some people don't understand. If you were really SO good, the teachers would definitely have seen your potential during the interview and during tugases. Heck, YJ would even recommend you to be KP la. But the fact remains, you didn't get top 6, she did, so? Suck it up la pls. I can't rant directly to your face because I really don't want any conflict with you. Even not as top 6, you're not performing well, what does that say about you? Learn to set your demands correctly and maybe for once people will listen to you. Not yak and yak and yak about how YOU've been treated unfairly or how YOU are the one being left out or how YOU are the one doing everything. What have you even fucking contributed. Money? Time? You didn't sponsor anything for the room like someone else did. You aren't even willing to put aside your time to do your tugas because of HOMEWORK. what, I don't have homework now? All the f5 pengawas don't have homework now? Be realistic omg. You yourself complained that the previous AJKs are lazy and useless and now you're becoming exactly like them. The irony.
Then there's the issue of camp haisss. I'm glad all the AJKs can stand as one and all go to camp tgt but I'm super freaking glad that this is my last year facing this shit. Teacher is like soooooooooooo uuuggghhhhhh i can't even. She wants all the prefects to join Kelab Rukun Negara. LOLLL. Tbh it's a reallyy poor decision cause high school should be the time where we as students are given the oppurtunity to explore different activities through clubs and figure out our interests. It doesn't mean that if I choose to be a prefect, my whole school life is dedicated to the board. Thank God she's only forcing it on the f3s and if I were a f3 this year I'd probably quit.

Concert preparations are going to startt yayy.
Stage manager this year and I'm kind of clueless not as to what I need to do but more of like how the floor plans are drawn ahaha. I hope I won't be blur because I can't be blur because I don't want to kena marah. Excited to see if I can handle this or not because I've never done anything like this hehh. Well, we shall see ;)

Another thing I need to rant about is respect. Basically all these issues going on is happening because people are not respecting each others' decisions. For example, the respect I'm talking about here is like say someone utters a bad word, you being someone who is so 'good' and 'innocent' don't say bad words and never used them. So? Respect. Respect that others have the right to say and do what they want. Respect their opinions even if it's wrong by listening to it. Respect people who are even younger than you because age does not bring wisdom like at all. Respect people's decision. Whether it's something like being gay or simply choosing not to do homework today.
The world would be a much better place if everyone learnt to respect everyone else regardless of race, rank and age.

The last thing I'm going to say is that I extremely, one hundred and ten percent, hate people who think I am dumb. I mean, you can definitely scold me if I messed up, but I simply can't stand if someone says 'This one also don't know how to do' or 'You guys are so dumb'. LIKE FUCKK YOUUUUU, you weren't in my shoes and you will never be in my shoes, you're never going to fully understand what anyone else is truly going through, so if someone messes up, or doesn't give you what you want, or doesn't know something (no matter how big that something is already), just reprimand them / tell them and that's it. Never ever call someone dumb or say 'You don't know anything about it'.
I guess that's like plus points for Mr. Siow lolll cause eventhough he banyak times throw tantrum he never does say anything like that.

so January, hello and goodbye, February, please don't be shit eventhough you already are shit because everything clashes every weekend on you.