sigh

if everything would just fall in place perfectly that'll be nice.
rn in a dilemma but not dilemma situation.
i want the kp post but i dont want it at the same time.
i guess one cant ask for everything at once can you.
if i get kp post, im sure my parents would make me drop wo, which is something i cant live without.

so, with C being super biased towards f, it might be a good thing. althought i still wish to be elected to a post of somewhat importance simply because, i wish to make my mark on the board. change a little to what i think is better.

and besides that im facing the probability of carrying another post in wo next year. part of me wants it part if me dont.

if i get the post, it means another year of putting up with shit from the teachers. seriously they don't even respect our practice dates yet expect us to be oohh so good. this results in me having to run around the entire fcking school almost every week when someone interrupts our practice time. im so sick of that. so sick.
you dont give us what we need yet want us to play for every fcking event. no just no.
and next year would be working with new committee with almost no experience, which means training them. being strict. and having to be the bad guy.
what the next years after mine lack is maybe respect? and probably the effort to do things without a superior asking
im not saying that my batch is super good, but we look out for each other pretty well.
this is also a problem with the p. board because those members lack passion. they lack passion to even carry out their regular duties what more when they are piled with duties they think is not part of their job scope. i wonder, how would you make a group of people like doing something they absolutely hate and are doing it because of the extra points they get?

i can barely handle the shit i get from teachers this year with such minimal posts. what more next year.

sigh fingers crossed everything falls into place the way i want it to. fingers crossed C biases all she wants to f make him head boy. i would very much love to help him no doubts about that and at the same time my parents wont make me drop wo. i dont know about the post tho. sigh.

i actually think f would make a pretty good headboy IF he is helped by a good and strong committee. but im afraid that he would get hate because of certain situations.

on another note i signed up for a new tuition class and im starting next week. the anxieties are kicking in and i keep telling myself that the people would be friendly but idk man.

so much on my mind that i cant begin to put it all in words.

sigh.