sigh

if everything would just fall in place perfectly that'll be nice.
rn in a dilemma but not dilemma situation.
i want the kp post but i dont want it at the same time.
i guess one cant ask for everything at once can you.
if i get kp post, im sure my parents would make me drop wo, which is something i cant live without.

so, with C being super biased towards f, it might be a good thing. althought i still wish to be elected to a post of somewhat importance simply because, i wish to make my mark on the board. change a little to what i think is better.

and besides that im facing the probability of carrying another post in wo next year. part of me wants it part if me dont.

if i get the post, it means another year of putting up with shit from the teachers. seriously they don't even respect our practice dates yet expect us to be oohh so good. this results in me having to run around the entire fcking school almost every week when someone interrupts our practice time. im so sick of that. so sick.
you dont give us what we need yet want us to play for every fcking event. no just no.
and next year would be working with new committee with almost no experience, which means training them. being strict. and having to be the bad guy.
what the next years after mine lack is maybe respect? and probably the effort to do things without a superior asking
im not saying that my batch is super good, but we look out for each other pretty well.
this is also a problem with the p. board because those members lack passion. they lack passion to even carry out their regular duties what more when they are piled with duties they think is not part of their job scope. i wonder, how would you make a group of people like doing something they absolutely hate and are doing it because of the extra points they get?

i can barely handle the shit i get from teachers this year with such minimal posts. what more next year.

sigh fingers crossed everything falls into place the way i want it to. fingers crossed C biases all she wants to f make him head boy. i would very much love to help him no doubts about that and at the same time my parents wont make me drop wo. i dont know about the post tho. sigh.

i actually think f would make a pretty good headboy IF he is helped by a good and strong committee. but im afraid that he would get hate because of certain situations.

on another note i signed up for a new tuition class and im starting next week. the anxieties are kicking in and i keep telling myself that the people would be friendly but idk man.

so much on my mind that i cant begin to put it all in words.

sigh.

i miss you

i miss everything about you

i never thought i would miss you this much, but just this afternoon, when i had the chance to be with you once again, eventhough it was for just a mere 15 minutes, it was wonderful.
i haven't had time to spend with you nowadays.
frankly after that day i didn't have a reason to anymore.
but you and i, we go back a long time.
a long ass time.
never thought i would let you go this easily, but the responsibilities of the world bid me to spend lesser and lesser time with you; till all we have is so little that i barely notice you there.
i'm sorry.
i still love you ♥
i promise i'll make time for you again.
today my passion for you has been rekindled.
i won't let our 12 years together go down in vain.

but, it's too late to see you today.
i'll see you tomorrow kawaii piano

lots of love, reg ♥

Forgotten

:reposted due to grammar error:

I think, out of everything, what we fear most is to forget.
To forget a friend, a grandmother, a memory.

Happy memories, ofcourse. Although, if bad memories were forgotten, we wouldn't remember the lessons we learned from those bad memories, which isn't a very good thing.

Anyway, to forget, or to be forgotten.
It's scary, it's hurtful.

I guess that's why, people tend to take pictures everywhere and every second of the day.
Because to capture a picture would be to capture a moment, forever. To capture a person's features, that we may never forget how they look, forever.
It's wonderful how you can take one look at a picture and a warm rush of memories come flooding through. I love that.
But, people tend to forget the most important thing : to live in the moment.
We capture and record those all those moments we want to keep forever, yet only get to experience it through the lens of a camera.
The experience becomes.. unoriginal.. un-first hand.
But then again, of course, we wouldn't want to forget that time we attended that concert, or went to this party. Because we are all scared.
Scared that we might not cling on to that memory hard enough that it might just slip away.
That face we so clearly knew at the back of our hand just 5 years ago begin to fade away.

With all that said, pictures, are again, just pictures.
Perhaps we would retain much, much more of the memory. Much, much more of that person, if we would just not out so much effort into trying remember a moment, but truly just live in that moment. Then at least, you can say you lived that moment, and it is yours to treasure.

Forget we might, but it doesn't negate the fact that that moment occured.

look up from the lens, start living those moments.